life, personalissue, tittle-tattle
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Personal Issue: About students, sense of shame and losing it all

The phenomenon I like to pick-up this time is something I have experienced quite often lately. But let us go back in time a little to get a starting point.

Its Saturday evening and I head out with some friends for some drinks at the local student bar. The location is packed with people, students of all age and various study fields are gathered in this (hot)spot. A typical scenery where people encounter and mingle. In this atmosphere it is pretty easy to meet new people and talk about a range of topics. Especially first semester students are happy for spots like this one in order to dive into the student life they all have been dreaming of (which, I guess, is another topic to talk about..).

The vast majority are fun people to get to know, even if it’s only for that one evening. But there are some students, mainly female, you instantly want to scream at: “Please, don’t act so embarrassing!
Yes, we all act a little different in situations where people are around we like or we feel a flirty atmosphere. Normal. But lately I have experienced girls, mainly being 19 or 20, who just don’t have any sense of shame. Only four years younger and the social gap seems bigger than ever. What has happened? I would consider myself openminded and welcoming, not caring about age limits and various backgrounds. My workplace wouldn’t allow any other point of view. But when I sit with friends and there are girls around the table who just offer a whole lot of bullshit (excuse the harsh language), I simply can’t keep my facial expression upright. And I feel embarrassed. I know, it’s not me who asks the dumb questions or makes poor remarks but in that moment I feel ashamed for being a women and seeing other women losing it all. You probably wonder “What the hack is she talking about?!” but let me give you a more detailed look into one of these situations.

Those girls, lets call them giggling-mess, are simply longing for attention and want the affection of the (male!) members around the table. Fine with that and basically everyone, at some point, tries to achieve this. It’s fun to be a little flirty and take the center-of-attention-point for a few seconds, minutes or hours. But the thing that really worries me is how these girls try to accomplish their mission. Instead of offering an interesting conversation they start flicking around with their hair, hang over the table to expose their cleavage and ask stupid questions such as “What is a diploma?”. Adding to this they giggle like there is no tomorrow and try to be extra funny. Which basically never works out. If they then also add some alcohol to this situation, you better run.

I don’t consider myself to be extremely clever or over-educated but seeing those girls makes me instantly think “Oh my God, can someone just help them get out of this situation?”. Everyone around the table, except them, notice that they are somehow miles away but no-one dares to tell them. I sometimes think that they are just playing the dumb-game because they feel its the right way to be attractive and get attention. They do get the attention, can’t deny that, but this attention is filled with misunderstanding and embarrassment.

We live in a world in which girls don’t have to act dumb anymore, its unsexy and humiliating for all women out there who have been working their ass off to stand up for our rights and values. Get a mind, think first and stop limiting yourself!

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