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Personal Issue: About dating and body-shaming

You probably ask yourself how these two topics, dating and body-shaming, can become the content of one combined post. But sadly I had to experience they can.

A few weeks ago I was sitting backstage with some dear, female colleagues and we were chatting like we always do when we get back together after some time. It’s always fun and every girls topic you can imagine comes to discussion here. Last time we once again came to the topic of dating and what we all have experienced lately. One of my colleagues told us about her last Tinder date and this is the base of this post.

She met this guy at a café and they chatted about a few topics. It still was a cold day in Berlin and she had her scarf laying on her lap. Not as a blanket, just as a bundle of fabric.
After some time she went to the toilet and as she returned, she once again placed the scarf on her lap. The guy noticed it and, hold your breath, said to her: “I have already saw but you don’t have to hide. I actually like when women are voluminous.”

This really hit all of us out of the blue. Without noticing he criticized her body on being curvy and directly assumed she would have a problem with that. In what kind of world are we living? You go on a first date and the guy, without knowing you, thinks he is in the position to make remarks about your body?

In the society we live in today we are confronted with “flawless bodies” (no one is perfect and in our opinion no one should be perfect.) everyday and especially women “like” to compare themselves to those girls on screen and in magazines. This has nothing to do with “liking” this kind of habit but somehow it became a natural thing.

Start asking yourself: what is perfect/flawless? And who the hell stands above everyone to decide what these words mean and especially how these words should visually look like? Body shaming is more present than ever and not only do we ourselves stress everyday with the staying-fit-and-healthy-topic, now also some random guy thinks he can judge our appearance. And this is just wrong and heart-breaking. We should start to respect ourselves so we can respect others. We should feel blessed with what we have and don’t just see the problems concerning our bodies and our lives.

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